Colt

Every step towards Niilah and his daughter was a small bit of torture, a small vibroblade driving itself deeper and deeper into his heart. Part of him wanted to flee, part of him wanted to turn and run, but he felt Kenway’s firm hand on his shoulder and he knew that he could not do so.

“The little boy…” Colt said quietly to his cousin.

“Kenlar Artemis.” Kenway answered softly, knowing the effect hearing his son’s middle name would have on his cousin.

“Kenlar Arte… Artemis.” Colt managed to say, a tear coming to his eye at the thought. Just hearing his birth name brought many forgetten emotions to the forefront, emotions that combined with the frayed state he was currently in made a small chip in the façade that he had kept up for so long. “Cousin… I… Congratulations.”

“We will speak later… for now I believe you have something to do.” Kenway advised before stepping aside and going over to Larial and giving her a reassuring smile. He hoped with all his being that everything would work out okay because he knew how much Colt had been affected by never having his father around. He didn’t want the same thing to happen to his cousin’s daughter and for the cycle to repeat itself.

“Hello little one.” Colt said softly, kneeling down in front of Khaallee. “I’m your father… ta teru.” He repeated it in Huttese, not knowing which language the child had a better grasp on. He was surprised that the little one already seemed to be able to speak both, a question he would try to ask Niilah later, one of many.

Closing his eyes and considering his words for just a moment, he then looked up at Niilah and spoke. If she cared to look into his emerald eyes, she would notice that they were duller than ever. She would also notice a scar on his left cheek that had never been there before. “Blue, there’s so many things I need to say… I…” He sighed. “Now isn’t the time and the place… but I…” It was clear that he was having a hard time making the words come to him. “I don’t want to be like my father… I don’t want to be the dad that was never there, the one who my child didn’t meet until she was twenty-three with only a half-hearted shrug as a response to the question of why I was never there.” It didn’t take a genius for one to figure out whose childhood this had been. “And most of all… I wanted nothing more to come back home.”

It was always from the shadows, it was always from the shadows that he kept an eye on his love and his child. When time allowed him to at the very least. He couldn't allow himself to admit weakness, to admit wrongdoing. Because the truth was that he had committed a number of great sins, sins that he had done his very best to forget. But for the gunfighter who had gone by many names, he was reaching the precipice, where he would have to make a choice between his chase for revenge and for the small family he had started. 

He couldn't help but smile as he watched Niilah play with their daughter. Her daughter that he, the father, saw so much of himself in. Even from afar. He was caught by surprise when Larial appeared with what appeared to be her son. Her son... he wondered who the father might be. There was no way Kenway had forgetten his oaths, had allowed himself to give into temptation. Even as Larial went over to Niilah and the children met for the first time, Colt couldn't help but wonder where Kenway was. 

"Should I even ask why you're doing this to yourself." Colt heard his cousin's voice and sighed. 

"How did you... I thought..." Colt started to ask Kenway, trying to deflect from his Jedi cousin's original query.

"You're not the only one who learned from her you know." Kenway said quietly. "But that's not the point. Do you really want to be like your own father? Never even letting your daughter even know your name or who you are? Letting the mother of your child go it alone. Are you going to be like him?" Kenway got straight to the point, unusual venom in his voice.

"You have no right." Colt hissed angrily. "No right to compare me to him. I'm just trying to keep..."

"Keep them safe. Is that the justification you're going to give." Kenway hissed right back. "Don't even." He looked out from Colt's perch at Larial, Niilah and the two young children.

"I am nothing like my father." Colt said one more time, as if he wanted to prove a point. 

"Only if you go out there and do what you should." Kenway advised. Colt took one last chance to send a death glare Kenway's way before taking a deep breath and strolling out into the open, Kenway close behind.

Kenway smiled gently at Larial. "We do what every pairing of master and Padawan does." He suggested. "We travel the galaxy, take assignments from the order. We train, refine our skills. We both teach each other and we uphold the Code and help those in need." He vowed passionately. "And then when you are ready you take on the trials and become a fully fledged knight."

For once in his life, Colt was lost for words. No sarcastic quip or clever retort came to him. He stood numbly unable to think of what he had done wrong. He simply couldn't understand why Niilah would stay after everything. He had played his hand perfectly. It was feeling a twinge of pain that answered his question. He had not planned for her stubbornness and there was no way he could have planned for Tavalla's intervention.

With a sigh, he was forced to give up. Unable to do anything else he slowly shuffled to the lounge and managed to dig out a bottle of whiskey that had survived the evening. Even with the kolto and adrenals in his system, he was still in a tremendous amount of pain as he took a long sip directly from the bottle. He had never been a religious man but he had no other choice but to pray for Niilah's salvation.

Kenway had been lost in silent thought. He had hoped that the decision would not come down to him. But he knew Satele's style of leadership and since he was Larial's champion he knew that the Grand Master would gratefully value his input. He opened his eyes and took a deep breath before speaking. "I believe that she is ready. And I would like to make another request. I am ready to return to full active service." Kenway stated. "And as such I would like to take Larial on as my Padawan." Knowing she would be surprised by his, Kenway smiled reassuringly at Larial. "With her emotions and memories unmodified and completely intact."

Colt watched the scene play out in front of him, silently lamenting the loss of yet another bottle of whiskey. Once Gear and Niilah left the room, he slowly stood up. As he carefully injected himself with another kolto / adrenal blend from his stores, he looked and Sanj and smiled. "Do me a favor and spare me the intimidation garbage." He shrugged. "Even in my current state we're on my own turf and I have no doubt that I'm the quicker draw." He pointed out bluntly before his hardened gaze softened. "Especially since you and I both want the same thing in the end." Colt sighed as he looked away from the Jedi. "The fact you didn't just kill me when you had the chance shows that you don't actually see what I am, but that's neither here nor there at the moment. However what is relevant is that Niilah seems to think I can be redeemed, that deep down we can be happy." He turned his gaze back to the Jedi. "But you and I know better. You and I both know that I am far more broken that she is, that she could actually make it." Colt sighed again. "I do actually love her you know, I really do. Which is why I want you to take her away, make sure she ends up happy, that she forgets that she ever loved me." He requested. "Because what little part of me is still good realizes that I'm poison to her and if she stays... I don't want to think about it."

"There's a rather large part of me that wishes she'd have just killed me." Colt quipped wearily as he looked at Gear. "Kid do me a favor and pour me a glass of whiskey... Actually just bring the bottle." He murmured weakly before spitting out a mouthful of blood. Wiping his mouth clean with his sleeve he looked at the two women and chuckled softly for a moment. "My dead wife came back as a force ghost and she was rather upset as you can see." Colt explained, feeling no need to preface this claim. "How would I have known that she could or would do that." He muttered, clearly irritated with what had happened. He didn't want to think about the why Tavalla had done it because that would lead to more pain down the line.

Kenway could not fathom the depths that Larial had fallen into. Even so, he refused to give up hope. "Everyone can be redeemed by the light." He said stoicly as he followed Larial onto the ship. "I have seen good come from the worst. I will not flee." He vowed.

Once Kenway and Larial had left, Colt sat down in the lounge with a cold drink in his hand. He was resolute, sure that he had done the right thing for both Kenway and Niilah. The events of the evening had made him sure that he was someone that you did not want to get close to at any cost.

"Well I hope you're happy with yourself. You should be real proud right now." Colt opened his eyes and he was greeted with a familiar sight, the force ghost of his love, his dead wife. However instead of the usual comforting presence she gave him, she was instead angry her normally blue eyes shining amber and red.

"Coming from you that's rich." Colt spat bitterly. "You have no right coming here like this."

"No right?" Tavalla asked him coldly. "Do you have any idea..."

"That you appeared to her to spill the feelings that I would have done if it was the right time." Colt stood up, getting angry now. "But you had to go and ruin that."

"How dare you." Tavalla hissed at him. "Your hubris and your selfishness and your ego ruined that! Your inability to see the good in this galaxy and your inability to face your fears of death."

"You did this to me!" Colt shouted at her, the love he had harbored in his heart for over a decade turning rapidly to bitterness and hate. "You had to go and take that assignment. We could have ran away. You said it yourself, we both gave more than our fair share... But then you had to go and get yourself killed!"

"Don't you think I wish..." Tavalla tried to speak but Colt cut her off.

"Does it matte what you wish. You're dead and you ruined my life! I wish I had never met you!" He was screaming at the top of his lungs now and it took him a moment to realize that he had gone too far. The blue aura that always surrounded Tavalla was now dark as night and Colt felt himself being lifted into the air. "How..." Colt didn't think that force ghosts could access the force powers they had in life. He couldn't be more wrong.

"You don't know nearly as much as you think." Tavalla said coldly before slamming him against the hard durasteel wall behind him with nothing but a flick of her wrist. "I loved you. Still love you Colt. But you've done everything to ruin those memories." Each sentence was punctuated by Colt being slammed against a wall once more. He had been unable to prevent it and was unable to speak. The pain was overwhelming, more emotional than physical. "You've become something horrible. The girl was right to fear what you've become. The man I loved is gone!" She screamed, holding Colt up in front of her. Blood was dripping from his forehead and the corner of his mouth. "All that girl wanted to do was love you and you treated it like unspeakable evil." Tavalla pointed out.

"I couldn't." Colt said weakly.

"Don't feed me that nonsense about her own good!" Tavalla screamed before tossing Colt into the wall once again. "You think you're smarter than everyone else, better than everyone! You used to inspire confidence, you were a leader, a friend, a lover. Now look at you!" Colt had managed to struggle to his knees. "You've alienated the last people you have left! There's nothing left in there but hate and anger and fear! You've become what you swore to fight!"

"You're the sick one." Colt couldn't stop himself.

"Even now!" Tavalla roared, pulling Colt up into the air again. But this time instead of tossing him, she began to choke him with the power of the dark side. As he struggled to breathe, she looked into his eyes. "You don't fear death, do you?" She asked coldly. "You've done your very best to remove every reason you had to live. And for what?" She whispered. "There's nothing in you but hate now. Hate and anger and wrath and a sick desire for revenge. All I can say is thank all that is good that you aren't more than slightly Force sensitive." She sighed as Colt's eyes rolled towards the back of his head. He was moments from losing consciousness and Tavalla eased the pressure. Colt fell to the floor and began gasping loudly, his lungs drawing in the great amounts of air he had been deprived of. "You have no idea how much I loved you, how much I still do love you." She said softly. "But I cannot express how disgusted I am with what you did to that poor girl tonight." The anger was returning. "Out of all the things you've done... That might just be the most unforgivable." Before Colt could get a response out, she was gone.

Kenway watched Larial in contemplative silence. He felt the memories that she had let slip and as he observed he couldn't believe she had felt like that all of this time. He never knew, hadn't even suspected or considered the possibility. The truth was that he did care for her more than he should but he always told himself that it was normal because of how long they had known each other. As he mulled it over, he knew that any further thought on the matter would lead down a dangerous road, a road he could not allow himself to travel. "I do not want you to forget the times we shared as kids." He said softly. "Those are some of the best memories I have and I don't want to have you lose them."

Colt was still unable to get up from his spot on the cold metal floor. He could feel at least three broken ribs in addition to the blood trickling from his mouth, nose and forehead. The pounding pain in his head told him that he had a concussion. He couldn't help but think that he may have made a slight error in judgment.

"Uma ji muna.... Always and forever." Colt whispered as Niilah walked away. He chose to express his feelings in Huttese because he knew she didn't speak it. It was with a sad smile that he turned and walked back onto the ship, her blaster in his hand.

Kenway had been struggling with how to tell Larial that her suggestion was a terrible idea, one that he would never allow to happen. "We will go to the council. Together." He managed to say before Niilah had stormed onto the ship and packed her things in a whirlwind. He said nothing, did nothing because he knew there was nothing to be done. And then she was gone, leaving Kenway and Larial alone once more. "We will figure out what is best using the Force as a guide." Kenway said to Larial before Colt walked in. "What have you..."

It turned out that this was the wrong thing to say. Colt turned to him, anger and hatred and pain in his eyes. "Take her and get off the ship. Go back to the order where you belong." He spat harshly.

Kenway could feel Colt's instability and knew there was nothing he could do. Instead he turned to Larial and said quietly. "Let's go. We'll both go to Tython together." He suggested, turning to walk out without addressing his cousin.

More than once, Colt thought about cutting off Niilah's line of questioning. Deep down, he knew where it lead and he also knew that the truth that she was just starting to understand was a truth he had tried to tell her. He struggled with the words that would have to say. How could he tell the woman he loved that he was driven by nothing more than hatred and the desire for revenge. That the few good impulses left were nothing more than the selfish desire to prevent losing someone he loved yet again. Deep down, he knew that this was why he had always stayed away from Niilah, in an attempt to make sure they didn't form an emotional connection. He had begged her to forget him, to forget how she felt about him, for this very reason. Colt knew that he was a lost cause and that it had been wrong for him to ever think otherwise.

It was at this point that he began to speak, to answer her questions in turn. "Right now I consider you to be the biggest mistake I have made in a long time." Colt stated coldly. "I never should have allowed us to happen, not with who and what I am. I'm damaged goods, a toxic property... My true self is what you've always seen, something that perhaps you've been denying out of misplaced affection." With this he let Niilah's hand go and took a small step away from her. "War and loss and death has turned me into this." He sighed audibly, a bit unsure of how to phrase his next points.

"Living for nothing more than a single promise for a decade isn't healthy... Being driven solely by hatred and the quest for revenge... The reason that the more perceptive Jedi around us fear me, are disgusted by me... They know I don't kill Imperials simply out of duty. I enjoy it, I revel in it... For what I lost during the war, each Imperial death at my hands eases the pain, calms the beast for just a moment." He took another step back from Niilah.

"As for what I am. I am rage incarnate, I am hatred distilled, I am the weapon that is used when others don't want to do what must be done to defeat an enemy like the Empire. I'm the tool that is used to do the dirtiest of work and when that work dries up I'll be tossed aside." The slightest hint of bitterness slipped into Colt's tone but for the most part he seemed to accept his fate. He also realized that acceptance had to come with the righting of the last lingering wrong, the last lingering loose end. "Kenway will be fine. He has turned into the man I could have been, should have been. Brave, courageous, just, respected, esteemed, moral. In fact it is best for him if he is freed from my toxic influence, it is the only thing holding him back from great things." A proud smile was replaced quickly with a frown. "As for Larial, she and Kenway will do what they see as right." Another step back left some space between himself and Niilah. Colt knew that a couple of simple lies would drive a stake through her heart but it would ultimately save her from him. He took a deep breath, closed his eyes because he knew he couldn't bare to look into her eyes and say what he had to say. The last bit of truth, that he really did love her was the one bit of truth that he couldn't reveal.

"My good side... My good side was dead ten years ago, it died in the body of an Imperial dreadnought." A dry chuckle escaped Colt's lips at this. He wanted nothing more than to backtrack but to talk his way out of this and to subject Niilah to his fate would be the last step downward, the step that would lead to him becoming a complete irredeemable monster. Instead he was forced to tell a lie that in any other circumstance would have been a deranged act. But in this situation, it could be considered almost noble. "If the job called for it I could..." Colt trailed off. He couldn't bring himself to say that he would shoot her. He could never even consider harming her, but she didn't need to know that.

Kenway looked at Larial, struggling to find the words he needed to say. He could feel a barrage of emotions from all directions to the point that he could not tell whose were whose. He was nearly overwhelmed and he had to close his eyes to block out the background noise. "I am sorry." He eventually said rather lamely. He didn't know what else to say.

"I liked that blaster." Colt said from behind Niilah. "It had good balance and a quick draw." He explained quietly as he walked over, gently taking her hands into his. "I've never been great at this sort of thing..." Colt muttered sheepishly as he looked into her eyes, eventually realizing that this was not the course to take. "Blue, I know that today has been... Well I don't even have the words for it." He sighed, pausing for a moment. "And you've been seeing the worst of what I am and yet you stay." He smiled gently now. "So what do you say to seeing my good side for awhile?" He asked.

As instructed, Kenway finished the drink in his hand to calm his nerves. He did his best to think back to how his cousin had calmed angry or upset women but successes were harder to recall than the spectacular failures. The exercise did not prove to be the boost of confidence that he had hoped. In fact it had become the opposite. It was at this point that Kenway realized that he simply needed to face this fear like he had so many others. He was a Jedi Knight and he would be brave. So with new resolve he stepped out of Colt's room and went to find Larial. "It seems we need to talk." He said upon finding her, bracing himself for the challenge at hand.

"There are better ways to control your emotions Niilah." A gentle voice said from behind her. It was Kenway, having returned as promised. "I will teach you if you'd like." He offered before looking past her, up the boarding ramp. "I am not ready to face her yet. She wants something from me that I simply cannot provide." He sighed, clearly troubled. "I fear for her emotional state and I fear my role in all this is one of negativity." He muttered before waking around the back of the ship.

Colt could feel Larial's presence in his mind. He was surprised and a little anxious that she had gotten through his mental defenses. He then realized that she hasn't tried to push and that because of the mild nature of her request, his subconscious had let it through. He sighed deeply, before allowing the truth out. 'In another time, another place, perhaps things could have been that way. But my heart was spoken for by two others, the past and the present.' His musings were cut off by a holo from his cousin, asking to be let in through the back lift, a secret smuggling compartment that led directly to Colt's quarters.

"Niilah is in a state." Kenway said quietly upon entering Colt's room. The Jedi sighed, seeing the panicked look in his cousin's eyes.

"The endgame has arrived and Im three steps behind." Colt sounded hurried as he handed Kenway a glass of whiskey. "Drink this, stay here and we'll talk." Colt muttered before running out of the room.

Niilah's stirring and departure from the room woke Colt up from his slumber. It took him a few moments to regain his bearings, as he was a bit surprised to see that he was now alone in the room. Once he realized he was alone in the room, it took Colt a few moments to gather the willpower to sit up and act. He didn't think she had left the room due to any fault of his, but he was still unsure what had happened.

And then he heard Larial's sobs. It didn't take him too long, even in his drowsy state, to figure out what had occurred while he had been asleep. Frowning, he reached over to the bedside table and picked up his holocom. Pulling up a frequency from memory, Colt waited for an answer.

"Cousin?" Kenway never failed to answer a comm call. Colt could faintly make out the fact that his cousin was not on his ship anymore and was in fact in a small room that Colt recognized in an instant.

"My old private room. Nice touch." Colt quipped, not completely surprised at Kenway's choice of hiding place. "Care to explain?"

"She jumped me." Kenway sounded panicked and almost fearful. "I was mediating and training, trying to calm myself from earlier. And she jumped me and... She kissed me and it was... Wet and I ran. I can't."

Colt was decent enough to stifle his laughter at Kenny's description of what Colt was assuming to be his cousin's first kiss. Instead he spoke in a soft, gentle tone. "I know. I know." Colt spoke almost soothingly. "Look I know that you're confused and unsure..."

"I'm not unsure of anything. I will not have something like that happen... Something that would risk leading to dark emotions." Kenway said resolutely.

"Come home cousin." Colt said gently. "We can talk about it." Kenway took a long moment to consider this proposal before eventually nodding, looking resigned to his fate. "Good. See you soon." Colt said before cutting the connection. Standing up, Colt went into his closet and threw a long black trenchcoat on somewhat absentmindedly. Sighing audibly, he poured himself a drink and waited for his cousin's return.

There was a moment where Kenway allowed himself to return the kiss. And then he was barraged with the memories of his master and her fall due to her romantic entanglements and the resulting complications. He remembered the effect of her death on his cousin, the death that even ten years later he still couldn't get over. He remembered the lessons they had been taught as younglings at the Temple, how attachments led to the dark side. Kenway had seen all of this first hand with Tavalla, Colt and Larial herself and he had no choice. He broke free from kiss, frowning at Larial as he did so. "I cannot and you know I cannot allow for that corruption." He stated bluntly. "I have seen what it has done to better Knights than I." He added before storming out of the ship, only pausing to grab his brown robe and green lightsaber.

"Kenway... Will you talk to me please." Larial's voice brought the knight out of his zen like training trance and led to him taking a gentle shock to his chest due to the distraction. Kenway barely registered the pain before sliding over to the near wall and hitting a panel, deactiviating his simulated enemies including the hologram of a Mandalorian warrior that had struck him moments before. "I'd prefer not to have to mask my race again but if it makes you more comfortable."

Kenway was shocked by this, not knowing what to say. His discomfort before had nothing to do with her race and everything to do with her and Niilah's attire. He didn't know what to say to explain that, but he knew that he had to. Finally, he spoke. "I'm an alien too." He muttered quietly. "Wouldn't make sense for me to care about that sort of thing... And it's not like I'm Mandolorian." He added as an afterthought. He didn't want to go into his discomfort about her clothing so he didn't.

Colt did what he was told, sitting himself on the edge of the bed as Niilah left the room. There was a part of him that was grateful for the brief period of solitude. His mind had been racing from the evening's stress. It said a lot about his frayed psyche that the easiest part of the past week or so for him was facing the Hurt and his battalion of Gamorreans with nothing but a pair of vibroblades. The wonderful combination of stress, visions from his past real and imagined and all the related drama that came from his love life had left him in a state of constant paranoia and it was a near miracle that he hadn't done anything he would regret. In fact, there was a minor sense of relief due to the fact that one of his more dangerous enemies was dead and in a way that would send a message. He could only hope the other ghosts from his past got the memo to stay nothing more than ghosts.

His thoughts were interrupted by the view he now hoped would plague his dreams as she so succinctly put it. "Your cousin doesn't seem too comfortable with a female's body. I hope you aren't the same." Of course, Colt wasn't cursed with his cousin's repressed past. A number of retorts crossed Colt's mind and he took a moment to mull over the selection of the right one.

"The one sin I could never be accused of is not having the finest appreciation of the female form." Colt quipped as he took in the view. "Perhaps dear cousin could stand to inherit that virtue of mine." He mused before motioning for Niilah to come over.

Kenway eventually came out his meditative trance. He had been acutely aware of the presence of the others, but had not allowed it to distract him. He slowly opened his eyes and looked at Larial for a quick moment. He was a bit surprised and quite pleased that she had joined him in meditating. She had always neglected that part of the Jedi path when they were kids. Not wanting to distract her, he quietly walked into the training room and closed the door. Soon he was surrounded by simulation droids and holograms. He stripped off his shirt and began to practice his unarmed combat skills. Few people knew that he was trained in Teras Kasi as well as having had some exposure to the Echani arts. His old master had drilled Teras Kasi into his head and there were few in the Order that could match his unarmed skills. However he trained nearly every day just to keep up with his cousin, who had received the same training from their shared teacher.

A faint golden glow emanating from the cargo hold in question would tell Larial two things. The first, and more important was that it was indeed Kenway's location. The second was that he was meditating, his innate connection to the force causing the light to seep through the minuscule cracks. Kenway's purity would have a soothing effect on Larial, which was convenient, but not intended. 

Colt heard Niilah's voice from the doorway, causing him to sigh. He should have known better than to try to hide something from her. She was a telepath and she was hyper-alert given the evening's events. "I'm tired Blue." He said softly, opening his eyes as he turned to look at her. "It's approaching the fifteenth anniversary of when I enlisted in the Navy..." The combination of the blood loss, the medication and the whiskey in his system made Colt far less reserved than usual. "You know... I see pretty much every face that I've ever killed... at night..." He stopped, realizing that he wasn't going to be able to finish that thought without getting into some uncomfortable territory. "When I pass on... I know they'll all be waiting for me on the other side... Imperials, hutts, criminals, bounty hunters... they'll be waiting for me and when I die, they will simply say 'Welcome brother...' And it's that... that's why I'm tired Niils... It's been fifteen years and I just want to be done with it all." Colt's voice got weaker as he spoke. With the last words, he stood up and walked over to Niilah. "You give far more than you receive and it's about time I worked on that balance." He remarked as he looked into her eyes. "I would suggest fishing Kenny out of that cargo hold but..." Niilah knew and loved the devious grin that Colt was wearing as he hit a few buttons on a small wall panel.

The cargo hold that was Kenway's refuge opened, revealing him to Larial once more. The young Jedi didn't notice however as he was quite deep in his meditative trance.

One cousin was stammering, unable to make words. The other was chuckling despite himself.

"Suppose I can't say no to you using the fresher after that show." Colt quipped, unable to stop himself from stating the obvious. He slyly holstered his revolver, not wanting the fact he had been holding it to come up. Sighing, he went to his quarters to shoot himself up with another stim, adrenal and kolto injection. He had lost more blood than he had let Niilah notice and he didn't want her to worry.

"I... Er... Words." Kenway tried to speak to Larial. It was going poorly. Seeing no other out, he ran after Colt, barricading himself in one of the hidden compartments Colt used to smuggle goods.

When Colt had gotten back onto the ship, he was a bit concerned with how Kenway was going to receive him. What he didn't expect was kindness. But that was what he got.

"You look like hell. And you definitely need a drink ." Kenway stated when Colt appeared to him. There was the non verbal message that they would have a long talk about the events of the evening, but now was not the time. They sat in silence for a few minutes, drinking their whiskeys when Kenway realized what Niilah and Larial were doing. "Can't they put some clothes on?" He asked, blushing at the sight of the two scantily clad women.

"They're sparring and that's what you're concerned about?" Colt asked, clearly amused. "Let's watch." He stood up, headed for the door to the training room. He would watch from outside.

"You're going to let this happen?" Kenway asked quickly.

"Larial seems to be forgetting she has two blaster bolt holes in her chest." Colt quipped. "That and if she pulls a weapon or any stunts..." Colt twirled the blaster pistol in his right hand. Colt left the rest unsaid.

Kenway was about to comment when he noticed Larial's true form. "Echani?" He was stunned.

"Half." Colt answered. Larial had only thought he hadn't been paying attention in the past. Colt was hyper observant. Always had been. The cousins watched the women spar, one still blushing at the state of their attire and the other watching with a wary eye.

As Colt and Niilah made their way back to their ship, Kenway had his own concerns to attend to, namely Larial and her instability. He heard her calls through the force and with a sigh he stood up, putting his drink down on the table. He went to the medical bay and poked his head inside, not knowing what to say.

"Hey." He said softly, alerting Larial to his presence. "You know... I think... I know you're not going to want to hear this, but it must be said." Kenway took a cautious step in. "You lost control of the Force and fell to the dark ." Kenway frowned. "Even so, Colt... He believed in you enough to let you live." Kenway explained. "Even though you put his love in danger... He made sure that he didn't shoot to kill." Kenway trailed off, realizing he might be taking a poor approach. "And for Colt not to kill, especially since you put Niilah in danger... That tells me something." With that, Kenway exited the medical bay to give Larial space. He took leave, returning to his drink.

Out of all the possible reactions Colt had tried to prepare himself for in those few moments, he hadn't seen Niilah's reaction of understanding, acceptance and love coming. He wouldn't have seen it coming even if he had ten years to prepare. 

In fact, Niilah's words in the moment did more to heal Colt's heart than she could have ever imagined. He would never admit this to a living soul but he had mostly given up on his own personal happiness due to the events of a decade ago and only the promise to keep an eye out for Kenway got him out of bed in the morning. He would also never admit to her that tonight was not the first time that he had tried on some base level to get himself killed, only to find that his base subconscious, the core survival instincts held in every human, would not allow him to die that easily. 

There was no need to vocalize any of this now because it was all in the past. Because he had found someone that made him happy, a reason to get out of bed in the morning and a reason to get going. It was these thoughts that made him feel lighter than air as he and Niilah held each other. The back room of a Hutt casino surrounded by corpses was not exactly the most romantic location, but to Colt the moment couldn't be more perfect. And then... as it always seems, an interruption.

“We have a big mess to clean up huh? Let’s get going, eh?.......By the way I really do think it’s the hair.” Colt chuckled gently at the remark about his hair as he removed himself from Niilah's embrace and took her hand in his instead.

"You're right, we should get going. As much as I hate to ruin a moment like this, I'm going to have to have a long chat with Kenway when we get back." Colt sighed, knowing that his current mood, the one of pure happiness that he hadn't experienced in an eternity, wasn't going to last long.

_______________________________________________________________________________________________________________

Kenway gradually came to, a bit unsure of what had just happened. He sat up and looked around as the memories came back, accompanied by a searing pain in his jaw. "Son of a..." He muttered under his breath. "What a punch." He was forced to admit. It wasn't often a Jedi went down for the count from one punch, especially not one that came from a non-force user. The young Jedi then remembered what had led to that punch and he gasped, glancing all around the medbay looking for Larial. To his relief, she seemed much better than she had been. Her wounds had been treated and she appeared to be stabilized. Silently, Kenway got up and went over to her. He leaned over to take a closer look at the wounds and he realized just what his cousin had did, that Larial had never been in danger of dying due to the perfect placement of the blaster bolts. They were designed to stop her in her tracks and yet they missed all her vital organs as well as the major blood vessels and arteries. Despite himself, Kenway began to chuckle as he crept out of the medbay.

Entering the kitchen / lounge area, the Jedi noticed two things right away. The first was that he no longer felt Colt and Niilah's presence on the ship. The second was the glass from the shattered glassware and the spilled whiskey that had flown everywhere from both the drink that Niilah had shot but also the bottle that Colt had thrown. Kenway sighed audibly as he used the force to command a group of rags to begin cleaning up the mess while he rummaged through the cabinets to find a fresh bottle of whiskey. Unlike Colt who had engaged in every vice known to man, Kenway was a stoic Jedi who only allowed himself one single guilty pleasure: a good glass of Whyrren's every now and then. And now was definitely one of those times.

Kenway eventually found himself a glass and a fresh bottle and satisfied that the ship was clean he poured himself a fresh glass. Contrary to what one would believe, he was no longer at Colt for what he had done in the moments that led to their brief fight. Kenway understood now what had happened on some innate level. And while he was upset at what had happened and he thought that Colt's reactions were wrong and excessively violent, Kenway's capacity to forgive far surpassed his non-existent ability to hold a grudge or hold on to anger towards someone who wronged him. In fact he was far more worried about Colt's safety at the current moment than he was angry. Taking a sip of the alcohol warmed Kenway's spirits considerably, and he was able to believe that everything would be okay.

It was one of those moments where Colt had thought he was out of the fire. Niilah seemed happy again, he was going to be okay and things would be settled. And then five simple words, one simple question. "And that... what is that?" Niilah asked him in a curious tone. She was looking at the pocket she had pulled the vial of kolto out of... and Colt knew what the question was about.

He paused for a moment, doing his very best to focus on anything but the answer to that question, knowing that if he told her the truth, or even mulled over the possibility... his head was going to roll. His head was going to roll and he was going to lose the girl he loved for good. He needed to head this line of questioning off at the pass. "I've told you before that I wouldn't keep any secrets from you." He said quietly. "And I fully intend to keep that promise..." 

Colt was trying to stall and find a way out when he had a moment of clarity. The reason that he continually found himself in situations like this one was that he was an exceptional liar and he never hesitated to spin a story. And even with a girl that he knew was a telepath, one that knew him and loved him... he was still going to try to lie. It was simply foolish and it was time to stop with the lies. Slowly Colt reached into his pocket and pulled the velvet box out. He took a breath before speaking. "I've kept this in my pocket for a long time..." He said quietly. "I've kept it as a reminder to myself that there is some good left in me... some level of hope. For a long time it was all I had..." He smiled softly at Niilah and he opened the box, allowing her to see the brilliant diamond and emerald engagement ring inside. "But not anymore." Without saying another word, Colt put the box back into his pocket.

The second the injection hit Colt's bloodstream, he gasped audibly. He then flexed his fingers and shakily stood up. "Highly concentrated kolto mixed with a particularly potent adrenal." He explained as he looked at his handiwork, having followed Niilah's eyes to the scene of the carnage. "Just let me..." He slowly staggered over to the Hutt and with two strained pulls managed to retrieve his vibroblades. Quickly cleaning them with the cloth on the Hutt's throne, he returned to Niilah's side. Seeing the small box on the ground, he picked it up and placed it back in his pocket without comment. "You are right... we should get going." He whispered quietly before heading for the door.  

Colt had lost a lot of blood but he would live. He reluctantly allowed Niilah to tend to him, knowing he was in no shape to fight her off. He sighed as he looked into her eyes. ""Amazing. After all that... You came." He muttered aloud, clearly in disbelief. "Well my love, the solution as I had planned it did not come to pass." For her sake, he left the fact that his plan was to die in battle unsaid. "On the plus side, a rather annoying thorn in my side has been taken care of." Colt would have said more, but his words were interrupted by him coughing up a small mouthful of blood.

This pause gave him a moment to put things into perspective. "Blue..." He said softly and in a wounded tone. "I love you with all my heart but all I do is hurt you and cause you pain." He said quietly. "I don't know how to handle this anymore... I know I promised you I wouldn't run but seeing you like that..." Colt paused once more to breathe deeply. "I'm the worst boyfriend you could have chosen." He quipped dryly. "And yet that might be why you're the angel I've waited my entire life..." Colt trailed off, closing his eyes. "In the left breast pocket of my coat... There's a small box and a small vial. Take out the vial and inject it into my shoulder." He instructed. "Highly concentrated..." He trailed off again.

Colt had made his way through the night to one of the many casinos that dotted the skyline of the Hurt paradise. The one that Colt made his way to was special however. Special in the fact that the boss of the casino had a two million credit bounty on Colt's head, a bounty that had been uncashed for five years.

So Colt naturally walked in the front door and ordered a drink from one of the bartenders. It didn't take long for his presence to be noted and he was roughly dragged by two Gamorrean grunts into a back room.

"Five years." Colt said after his eyes had adjusted to the dim lighting. A single Hutt sat on a splendid throne surrounded by a dozen Gamorrean guards. "I admire the persistence." The gunfighter quipped.

"Ho ho ho." The Hutt's booming laugh filled the chamber. "Time to die Captain Gamble."

Colt didn't respond, instead simply pulling two vibroblades from his boots, a wicked grin on his face.

..................

Nillah would find Colt sitting against a bloody wall. A single Gamorrean Axe was embedded in his left shoulder and his white trench coat was stained red with blood. Colt was surrounded by the corpses of his enemies and the Hutt boss was dead, two vibroblades protruding from his forehead. Colt's eyes were closed but he was quietly laughing to himself.

"So what... Do you plan to shoot me in the chest too. Because of how I feel." Niilah's words struck Colt harder than he could have imagined. The level of pain that he had caused her... He had warned her, pleaded with her to forget she loved him... Colt was a prophet because he knew that he was a curse. Not only was he a curse on all that cared, he himself was cursed beyond what he deserved. His curse was survival: he was doomed to be the last, to never find peace.

It was these thoughts that plagued Colt, had plagued him for a decade, had made it so he was paralyzed as he watched Niilah carry Larial and then Kenway down to the medbay. Colt looked down the narrow hallway, unable to move, unable to feel. He looked down at the bottle of whiskey in his hand before taking a long swig. But instead of the usual warmth and comfort there was nothing but emptiness. This was all it took for a moment of rage to overtake him and he spun and threw the bottle against the wall, causing it to shatter into pieces.

Like a zombie, Colt shuffled towards the spare room where he heard Niilah crying to herself. He stuck his head in the doorway just long enough to see the state she was in. What was left of Colt's inner strength was lost at that moment. He had promised her that he would never do this, that he would never hurt her. And in that he had failed miserably. Deep down, he knew how he had to repent for his sins, how he would make up for past wrongs. Creeping back to the main part of the ship, Colt pulled a small holocom out of his pocket and left it on the table. When it was discovered, it would play short messages for Niilah and Kenway that he had recorded previously in the event of his death. He also added apologies for all he had done. Satisfied with his preparations, Colt grabbed his white duster jacket off of the hook and left the ship. He had scores to settle with some old foes on the Hutt moon and if all went to plan, he would have his revenge. He would have his revenge and he would die in the process, allowing things to come full circle.

Colt had been in his own world when Niilah shot the drink out of his hand, causing the glassware to shatter and the whiskey to splash all over him. "Nice shooting Blue." He quipped, unable to stop himself and knowing he'd pay for being so nonchalant later.

And then Niilah asked him what they should do, just as she started to cry. At this, Colt's heart broke. He knew that he had inflicted this pain on Nillah's soul, that he was the reason for her tears. He stood up, about to rush to her side, to pick her up from the floor and explain that Larial was going to be okay, that they were going to be okay.

And then Kenway rushed inside and took one look at the scene in front of him. Larial down on the ground in serious condition, Niilah crouched over her in tears and Colt, it was always Colt. "What have you done cousin?" Kenway asked in a weary tone, having to force himself to continue walking towards Larial. He could feel her, he knew she was still alive.

"Don't blame this on me." Colt said harshly. "She came here with anger in her eyes ready to kill." He explained. "I did what I had to."

"Is that what you said before you killed my master?" Kenway lashed out in anger. He had lost his grip. And Colt was headed over the edge now as well.

"You know cousin." Colt said coldly. "Once we're done here I'm going to heal dear Larial up and give her back to the Hutts." Two could play at the lashing out in anger game. "A pretty redhead like her fetches a pretty price." At this Kenway's eyes flashed red and he drew his lightsaber and leaped towards Colt, fully intending to strike him down.

But Colt was ready. He was always ready. Without even flinching, Colt drew his pistol and shot Kenway's lightsaber out of his hands. The Jedi landed in front of Colt empty handed, reaching out for his blade using the force. Colt simply sighed and coldcocked his cousin with a vicious right hook.

Before Kenway even hit the ground, Colt turned to Niilah and quipped. "It's the hair isn't it? It's the hair that makes it so people never give me a chance to explain." He almost smiled but restrained himself. "Larial isn't going to die. Both my shots were aimed away from her vitals." He explained quietly, cautiously walking over to her side. "It's bad business to kill a royal, especially one of a planet that I actually like." Colt added before recalling something. "And I'm not sending her to the Hutts." He quickly added. "I needed something to get Kenway off balance so he didn't, you know, kill me." He looked away from Niilah and sighed, picking up the unscathed bottle of whiskey. "Now you see why I asked you to stay away from me." Colt muttered. "This is what I am and this is what happens to people who are foolish enough to love me."