Helios (he/they)

u know how if ur going downhill, u gotta control ur speed or else u just keep getting faster and faster until u faceplant? im waiting for the faceplant of life and like. every time i feel like i get my feet under me, something else happens. although i havent been particularly active in any games lately i am so grateful just to have people around, chatting and carrying on, bc i really need to pretend everything is good and normal and not hyperventilating about where im gonna find 40 bucks for my overdrawn bank account... again. ive always felt listless and directionless and tbh idk how to adult. i feel like its all i can do to keep my head above water but i feel so guilty for having fallen out of the boat in the first place that i'd rather give up. idk man. i just need hugs. and my mom.