Saal

Yeah, I keep bouncing between being livid at the incompetence and disappointed. 

Congratulations to you!

You can allow the photography issue to ruin your memory of your wonderful day or you can take a deep breath, accept that shit happens, and move on. The photographer didn't want it to happen, either, especially if her livelihood is depending on your payment. The truth is, other than you and your beloved and maybe some close friends and family, no one is going to look at your wedding pictures more than once. I've been married 26 years, and hubby and I haven't looked at our wedding album since about 5 years ago when we moved and were putting it away with the other scrapbooks. Yes, it's very disappointing, but the important thing is the fact that you had a great day with people whom you loved and who loved you.

If it's possible that everyone is in town or at a reasonable distance, the right thing would be for the photographer to have parents and everyone in the wedding party come in again for the staged shots and pay for the men's tux rentals for the couple hours. This session should be on the photographer's dime.

Next best is to have the photographer take care of having you, hubby, and parents come in for a staged session to get those shots. Again, this session should be on the photographer's dime.

Third best is for you and hubby to go in and have her do a shoot so you have some professional shots of the two of you to share with family.

Fourth best is to get the proofs of the shots she does have, and then go somewhere else to get a professional sitting with as many people from the wedding party as you can get. You'll pay for that session, but you won't have to deal with her.

My best advice is to handle discussions with her professionally. Don't burn bridges with her if you don't have to, especially if she's a friend. You catch more flies with honey than vinegar. If you paid a LOT of money and she's not even talking to you about fixing the issue, you might have to go to small claims court, but that is a big pain in the butt that you don't need. Try to work it out as best you can first.

The advantage for you of doing all those staged shots on a different day: You won't be as tired or stressed as most of us are on our wedding day. I know I was exhausted by the end of our staged shots on the wedding day. Everyone will look a lot more relaxed. Except for maybe the guy who got sent shoes too small by the tux rental place. But that's another issue.

Hope it all works out OK, and enjoy your first Christmas (or Hanukkah or other winter holiday) together as a married couple!

You make great points! Thanks for making them. Naturally, we're not going to let our upset cause us to do anything that we'll regret later. We're also not the type to burn bridges with people.  

Unfortunately, recreating the photo's simply is not an option. We're waiting to see exactly what photo's we do have and which ones are missing which will allow us to give a measured response that is appropriate to the loss.